The things we take for granted . . .

I have experienced a great deal of privilege in my life. I am white. Able-bodied. Educated. Straight. Middle class. I have never been subjected to violence or deprivation. But I am also a fat, middle-aged woman and there are a great many assumptions that come along with that (provocative) statement.

PRIVILEGE IS INVISIBLE. YOU DON’T REALISE YOU HAVE IT UNTIL IT’S GONE.

We don’t hear much about thin privilege – the distinct advantages bestowed upon those people who have always lived in bodies considered more acceptable in society. We hear a bit about fatphobia, but not a lot about thin privilege.

There is a perceived correlation between beauty and weight – that somehow thinner is prettier and worse still, somehow this is important. Because I was born fat (I was a rotund little 10lb 10oz) I have always felt unattractive.

I would just like to say right here and right now that I do not need anybody telling me any different. I was raised in an environment where a lot of emphasis was placed on appearance and I have worked hard (not necessarily successfully) to try and separate my physical appearance from my intrinsic worth. Whether you consider me beautiful or ugly or somewhere in between should be utterly irrelevant. My value as a human being – as a woman, wife, mother, friend, sister, writer, musician, hiker, cat-lover – needs to be based in who I am, not what I look like.

I have been many sizes over the years and I have to admit that I still feel less intelligent when I carry more weight. Society often typecasts fat with stupid. Now I am no scientist, but I sincerely doubt that the number on the scales impacts IQ. Our diet culture-obsessed society saturates us with so much information about weight loss that it is often assumed people are overweight because they are too stupid to know any better.

AND I USED TO FEEL STUPID

I have certainly met plenty of people who want to educate me thinner. Trust me – I am painfully familiar with most weight loss methods. I’ve tried them all and in the end, I just got fatter. That’s how diets work. (Sorry if I sound a bit bitter here – I gotta confess, I regret every diet my younger self ever did.)

Fat people are assumed to be less healthy than thin people. Thin people are considered fitter and stronger. Neither of these things are true. Health and fitness comes in all shapes and sizes. So does illness. I am now fat again but I am in excellent health and reasonably fit. Last week I climbed a mountain labelled “challenging”, so that’s got to count for something, right?! The views were spectacular and I hope to climb as many mountains as possible while I am able to do so.

My mental health is now so good that I don’t believe exchanging it for a different dress size would be a good (or smart) trade. No matter how much I stare with longing at my old (much smaller) wardrobe.

Thin people are more likely to receive advantages in the workplace and in customer service. I have been a smaller size and I received more accolades and more attention – I was less invisible. I didn’t appreciate it at the time because let’s face it, as somebody with an eating disorder and body image issues, I have always felt fat – regardless of the facts. But nonetheless, I can still look back and appreciate that life is easier when your waist size is smaller.

PEOPLE JUDGE YOUR FOOD CHOICES LESS

When you’re fat it feels like you have to “earn” food. Clothes are in abundance in the stores. Queues are magically shorter. Opportunities abound. The fact is, life is easier when you are thinner.

And health care? Don’t get me started on health care. If you’re overweight and sick the first thing you will be told is that you must lose weight. It doesn’t matter what that illness is – diabetes, cancer, broken leg, ingrown toenail – according to most of the medical fraternity everything can be cured with a ten per cent weight loss. Thin people are automatically afforded a level of health care that the rest of us do not receive without having to fight through the wall of fatphobia first.

Including mental health. I once had a psychiatrist put me on the scales and tell me to cut out all white foods. I have no idea how that was going to cure my Bipolar II Disorder . . .

Now don’t get me wrong – looking after your health through good nutrition and regular exercise is incredibly important for both physical and psychological health. That is true for people of every body shape and size. But you cannot look at someone and make an assumption about their lifestyle. People carry weight for all sorts of reasons – genetics (predominantly), the results of chronic dieting (sadly), medication (frustratingly), and other reasons (that I can’t think of).

Life is also easier when you’re younger, prettier, richer and all sorts of other privileges that we take for granted.

LIFE IS TOUGHER WHEN YOU’RE MARGINALISED

If you have lived your whole life with thin privilege, I am just a little bit envious. I feel it is important we all acknowledge whatever privilege we do have and then try to remember that people experiencing different realities will have different experiences. And sometimes those experiences have a profoundly detrimental effect.