JENNY
If you know me. If you’ve met me. You know how I feel about dogs. It’s like any phobia – illogical. I look at dogs on Instagram and they’re cute and loving and pumped full of personality.
Tag: anxiety
MY SOCIAL BATTERY
I was once told (by an esteemed psychiatrist) that I have an engine ticking away inside me. My little red engine that chugs away continuously and unlike other people, it never turns off. It’s part of my Bipolar II diagnosis – I have no off switch. Instead, I have hyperarousal 24/7. But that’s a story for another day. Trust me when I say, I have an engine. I also have a battery.
KILLING CREATIVITY
I used to be a creative soul. It was something I treasured. Something that made me inherently who I am. I had […]
ON REPEAT
I live with my ex-husband. It’s been seven months now and it’s going great. We’re best friends. But that’s a whole story for another day. Despite being separated under one roof and very good friends, I think I still drive him mad. And nothing drives him more mad than me listening to songs on repeat. And by on repeat, I mean the exact same song for a month at a time. I can listen to the same song a thousand times.
FOUR YEARS AT A TIME
I have a cycle. And it’s not menstrual (that ended 20 years ago). It turns out that every four years, something major happens in my life that changes me. Forever.
SHAME
I feel ashamed. I always feel ashamed. Of something or other. I have come to the realisation that not everybody feels this overwhelming and constant level of shame.
A FRESH START
I have to say, 2021 was kind to me. While 01 January is just an arbitrary date nevertheless, we wrap boundaries around dates and look for patterns. It is the way it is.
STABILITY
My mood has become extremely stable in recent months, which is apparently an aim of recovery in bipolar II disorder. No big highs. No big lows. But the other thing that happens without highs and lows is mood becomes very flat. And that, I do not like.
IT’S A CATASTROPHE!
People, let me assure you, I am an A Grade catastrophiser. I have it down to a fine art. Not only can I turn molehills into mountains, I can turn little green caterpillars into fire breathing dragons.
ONE FOOT FORWARD
I’m taking one foot forward – literally and metaphorically. At the end of September, I saw an advertisement by the Black Dog Institute (good job marketing team) about an October challenge to raise awareness for mental health research. Given my five years of mental illness, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to dip my toes in the challenge waters.
THE INS & THE OUTS
I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that most people fit into one of the two categories – having an internal or external means of processing emotions.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Some of the sweetest, most precious and happiest times of my life have passed me by. I really miss them. Some of the darkest, most miserable and frightening times of my life have passed me by. I don’t miss them at all. Everything in life is transitor
THE SADS
I’m on holiday 🙂 This holiday has been in the pipeline for months and then all of a sudden covid was back on attack in Australia and every state started to lockdown and close their borders. We weren’t sure if we were going to get here and once we got here, will we get back?!
SPOON THEORY
I think when most people think of chronic illness they think of diseases like cancer, arthritis or multiple sclerosis. Or conditions such as fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome. I feel like it’s important to point out that mental illness is also a chronic illness – it occurs again and again for a long time.
DYSREGULATED
I have Bipolar II Disorder. Apparently. Or not. Who can tell? It’s not like you can take a blood test and all is revealed. But I exhibit many of the traits and sometimes a label is handy. And sometimes it is not. But there’s one thing that can be said for sure. I am emotionally dysregulated