Category: RECOVERY

BOUND TO MY BODY

I have made it abundantly clear since I started sharing my story with you, that I have an eating disorder. Or should I say, I had an eating disorder. I have been pursuing recovery since I first graced the doorstep of my psychologist in 2015 and I can say with absolute certainty that I have reached a very happy place when it comes to my relationship with food.

ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FEARFUL

My mother swore by the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I’ve found for many things, absence makes the heart grow fearful. When I’m away from loved ones for any length of time I miss them and feel an even stronger sense of love and longing when we’re reunited (usually). But when I let go of the daily routines of my life, it’s much harder to reestablish habits. I develop a crisis of confidence.

ONE FOOT FORWARD

I’m taking one foot forward – literally and metaphorically. At the end of September, I saw an advertisement by the Black Dog Institute (good job marketing team) about an October challenge to raise awareness for mental health research. Given my five years of mental illness, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to dip my toes in the challenge waters.

DIET CULTURE

I follow a lot of eating disorder recovery accounts on Instagram and there’s much talk about diet culture. We live in a diet-cultured society. Before I express my highly uneducated opinion I want to clarify the confusing difference between diet, diet and diet.

WHY I GO TO CHURCH

It is a curious thing that I feel the need to justify my decision to go to church. I have never a written a post called, Why I go to the supermarket. And yet spiritual things are often vilified – be it Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism or even Atheism. Everyone seems to be on a side, pointing fingers at the other team.

I FELL OFF MY PERCH

But simultaneous to all this positivity, I have been triggered. (I am learning to hate that word.) You would think after all this time that I would be used to managing difficult emotions and situations, but a small incident has flipped me on my head and my eating disorder is struggling. Well, let’s be honest here – today it is winning.