HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
Today is my 55th birthday. You would think by now I would feel like a grown-up. I don’t. I feel like an awkward teenager who still doesn’t quite know what to do with her life but is now stuck in a creaky, crinkly body.
Category: Mental Health
WHERE TO NOW?
Well it’s been a busy month or two – I think I can safely say that. Dad’s deteriorating health then his death. And organising the celebration of his life. All very time consuming and emotionally draining affairs. The decision to do a presales campaign for my book. Launching it, promoting it and tying up the loose ends. All very time consuming, exciting and nerve wracking.
LIFE’S SHIFTING SANDS
Everything in life is transitory – the good, the bad. The ugly, the beautiful. Nothing lasts and my father’s demise and death […]
DYSREGULATED
I have Bipolar II Disorder. Apparently. Or not. Who can tell? It’s not like you can take a blood test and all is revealed. But I exhibit many of the traits and sometimes a label is handy. And sometimes it is not. But there’s one thing that can be said for sure. I am emotionally dysregulated
PRESALES NOW AVAILABLE!
I invite you to look at my campaign, subscribe to it, share it, and if you would consider it – preordering a copy so I can get this message out into the world.
LAUNCHING!
Over the past two years I have been penning words and putting together my memoir – Stalked by Demons | Guarded by Angels: The Girl with the Eating Disorder. I AM NOW AT THE SCARY END OF THE PROCESS
WELL THAT WAS THE SHITTEST YEAR EVER
On a personal and a global level, I think it can be categorically said, 2020 was a really, really shit year. Globally, […]
THE WEIGHT GAME
I’ve been recovering for six months now. Just over. And I guess the difference between actively seeking recovery and actually recovering is the associated behaviours. It may seem blindingly obvious, but changing eating disorder behaviours is really fucking hard. It’s taken me years of psychological therapies to put into practice the very things that make perfect, logical sense. But here I am – putting stuff into practice for six months now. More if you count my time in the clinic where I was forced to be healthy.
MY BIPOLAR LIFE
I don’t know if my official mental health diagnosis is bipolar II – or not. There appears to be no consensus on anything aside from the fact I have emotional dysregulation and severe insomnia issues. In my opinion, those two things are more than enough to make anybody go crazy. But mental health diagnosis or not, my life is full of highs and lows.
I’VE BEEN QUIET
It bothers me when I don’t write in my blog. Not because I think my writing is doing anyone a public service, but because this forum is my outlet for internal rumination. And if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s internal rumination.
THE WEARINESS OF FATIGUE IS MORE THAN FEELING TIRED
Today I want to sleep. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of […]
HOPES & DREAMS
Life is filled with moments where we hope. And where we dream. I have learned to be wary of hope but to embrace dreams.
LONG IN THE TOOTH
Not so long ago, I needed to go the dentist. It was a highly traumatic experience for me. With the level of trauma I had, you’d think I’d perhaps had a root canal, tooth extraction or dental implant. But no – I had a check-up.
EATING DISORDER RECOVERY: KEY EIGHT
According to the authors, the first seven keys are about recovering ‘from’ and this key is about recovering ‘to’. The focus is on searching for the spiritual, soulful side of ourselves – which can sound like mumbo jumbo if you’re not willing to be open-minded. I’m applying my willingness to this key.
GOING MENTAL: THE IMPACT OF INSOMNIA ON MY MENTAL HEALTH
This is the story of a woman who went mad. Lack of sleep will do that to you. When I was a baby I didn’t sleep fantastically well. Things haven’t improved.