For nigh on fifty years I was like most people – very quiet and private about my personal life. I barely shared my inner world with myself, let alone anyone else. But now I live my life like the door to my house is wide open and everyone can see inside. And there are reasons for that profound change. Let me see if my humble words can explain a little bit.
Read MoreI have a cycle. And it’s not menstrual (that ended 20 years ago). It turns out that every four years, something major happens in my life that changes me. Forever.
Read MoreChildhood is a tricky time. As is parenting. And while the vast majority of parents do the very best they know how, sometimes it just isn’t enough. Sometimes the scars last a lifetime.
Read MoreAt 11:03 AM on Tuesday 03 September 2024 I developed a tremor. It hasn’t left yet. I think it highly unlikely it ever will now. It was triggered by shock.
Read MoreBroken hearts have been around since mankind first walked out of the primordial slump. But for all the long and painful history of heartbreaks, there is still no tried and tested formula for navigating something that is so deeply personal and individual for every person.
Read MoreDepending on which of the nine different eating disorders is the primary issue, we may have to eat more or less food, more or less frequently, or different food altogether. But as food is an essential survival tool, at the end of the day, we have to eat.
Read MoreToday my friend, I want to talk about grief. This is a hard story to write but let me start at the beginning.
Read MoreJanuary 28 will forever be a memorable day in my life. It is the day my mother was born. And it is the day my father died.
Read MoreFor much of my life, I was driven and busy and energetic and doing shit all the time. I didn’t sleep. I ate a lot. All my spare time filled up with mothering or wifeing or friending or working or volunteering. It was a fairly typical life for someone in their thirties and forties. Then I imploded and everything changed.
Read MoreOver the weeks and months and years of my healing journey, I have heard the word ‘boundaries’ whispered in my ear countless times. Although, sometimes it’s less of a whisper and more of a fish wife’s guttural screech, echoing around the chambers of my people-pleasing brain.
Read MoreI take up space in this world and I don’t like it. I am wired to the core of my being to […]
Read MoreI did a hard thing. Well… It was hard for me. Perhaps you would find it easy. Or impossible. Perhaps like me […]
Read MoreThe silly season is upon us, in all its gold and green, red and silver finery. There’s tinsel and wreaths and candles. Everything’s shiny and scented, and it’s a very messy, merry time of year. And all that mess makes my legs wriggle more.
Insomnia is a bugger of a thing all year long, but when the holiday madness starts to settle around me, it can play havoc with my carefully constructed routine.
I don’t know if my official mental health diagnosis is bipolar II – or not. There appears to be no consensus on anything aside from the fact I have emotional dysregulation and severe insomnia issues. In my opinion, those two things are more than enough to make anybody go crazy. But mental health diagnosis or not, my life is full of highs and lows.
Insomnia is a bugger of a thing all year long, but when the holiday madness starts to settle around me, it can play havoc with my carefully constructed routine.
It bothers me when I don’t write in my blog. Not because I think my writing is doing anyone a public service, but because this forum is my outlet for internal rumination. And if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s internal rumination.
Type “How To Relax” into Google and you’ll find 39,300,000 results. Clearly, relaxation has become something us twenty-first-century folk need a lot of help with.
Today I want to sleep. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of […]
Life is filled with moments where we hope. And where we dream. I have learned to be wary of hope but to embrace dreams.
Not so long ago, I needed to go the dentist. It was a highly traumatic experience for me. With the level of trauma I had, you’d think I’d perhaps had a root canal, tooth extraction or dental implant. But no – I had a check-up.
According to the authors, the first seven keys are about recovering ‘from’ and this key is about recovering ‘to’. The focus is on searching for the spiritual, soulful side of ourselves – which can sound like mumbo jumbo if you’re not willing to be open-minded. I’m applying my willingness to this key.
We’re all getting older. This is a shared human experience – whether we want it or not. Caring for my grandmother as she gently floated to the magnificent age of 98 and two thirds, I became aware that older people seem to be more exaggerated versions of their younger selves.
This is the story of a woman who went mad. Lack of sleep will do that to you. When I was a baby I didn’t sleep fantastically well. Things haven’t improved.
My husband has sleep apnea. He has both central sleep apneas (CSA) and obstructive sleep apneas (OSA). When he had his sleep study done, it showed […]
There is a very good book called 8 Keys to Recovery From an Eating Disorder by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb. I have started the keys on numerous occasions in the past, but now I feel completely ready to tackle them all. There are multiple writing exercises within each key, so without giving away the entire contents of the book, over the course of eight weeks I want to share my recovery journey with you. The following is a composite of all my answers for this key.
Even with well medicated restless legs syndrome (RLS), I’m often awake and twiddling my thumbs during the night. Wondering what to do with myself.
