WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY
It’s World Suicide Prevention Day. A very good day to talk about suicide. On 02 March 2020, I took an overdose. It […]
Author: slyemm
DIET CULTURE
I follow a lot of eating disorder recovery accounts on Instagram and there’s much talk about diet culture. We live in a diet-cultured society. Before I express my highly uneducated opinion I want to clarify the confusing difference between diet, diet and diet.
A LETTER TO MY OLD FRIEND, SLEEP
Dear Sleep, I’ve been thinking of you lately. About all that time we spent together – so comfortable with each other and […]
I F*CKED UP
I’ve been quiet on here for a little while. I’ve been quiet everywhere for a little while. I have been in a period of significant restriction.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Some of the sweetest, most precious and happiest times of my life have passed me by. I really miss them. Some of the darkest, most miserable and frightening times of my life have passed me by. I don’t miss them at all. Everything in life is transitor
IF THE SHOE FITS… IMPULSE CONTROL & PRAMIPEXOLE
Once upon a time, I bought a pair of shoes. I bought a pair of shoes at 3 AM and when they arrived, I didn’t remember buying them. At the time of this unfortunate shoe-purchasing incident, I’d been taking pramipexole for around 5 years. I’d had no side effects and had yet to experience any augmentation (that would come later).
WHEN THE BODY IMAGE BEAST COMES TO PLAY
Now, I have talked endlessly about body image at different times. It is something I have struggled with my entire life. As my journey of recovery took on an upward trajectory in the past 15 months, I worked on the acceptance thing. Trying to accept myself as is, right now. I hear other people do this and it’s good for you.
WHY I GO TO CHURCH
It is a curious thing that I feel the need to justify my decision to go to church. I have never a written a post called, Why I go to the supermarket. And yet spiritual things are often vilified – be it Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism or even Atheism. Everyone seems to be on a side, pointing fingers at the other team.
I FELL OFF MY PERCH
But simultaneous to all this positivity, I have been triggered. (I am learning to hate that word.) You would think after all this time that I would be used to managing difficult emotions and situations, but a small incident has flipped me on my head and my eating disorder is struggling. Well, let’s be honest here – today it is winning.
THE SADS
I’m on holiday 🙂 This holiday has been in the pipeline for months and then all of a sudden covid was back on attack in Australia and every state started to lockdown and close their borders. We weren’t sure if we were going to get here and once we got here, will we get back?!
MOMENTARY RELIEF FOR PART 1: STRETCHES FOR MY RESTLESS LEGS
One of the first, and most prolific, things I do when my restless legs are restless, is to stretch. I find stretching offers wonderful – albeit very short-lived – relief and is something I can do anywhere, anytime.
RED CAR SYNDROME
There’s a thing called red car syndrome. Who knew?! It’s the phenomenon where you don’t notice how many red cars there are out there until you decide you want to buy one – and then all of a sudden they’re everywhere.
WEIGHTING ROOM
I’ve gained weight. I would hazard a guess that most people don’t want to gain weight, but when you’re recovering from an eating disorder it’s especially hard. The eating disorder wasn’t entirely about weight, but it was a big part of it. For me at least. I have an intense fear of gaining weight and being overweight and now both have happened.
HIATUS
I’ve been absent. Absent from so many things in my life. One of the key components of my recovery has been writing. Since 2016 I’ve been writing up a storm. I couldn’t even hazard a guess at the number of words that have dribbled out of these fingers in the past five years. But let’s just say it includes 390 blog posts, 40 insomnia articles, an awful lot of journal entries and one whole book. Amongst other things.
MY BOOK CAMPAIGN
Writing a book was a mighty endeavour – one I never really dreamed of but slowly as I wrote more and more, and was encouraged more and more, I started to think it was an achievable reality. And while I’m not yet holding a book in my hot little hands, I know I will be by the end of the year.