As I entered into the big wide world of adulthood, I blossomed as best I could with my strengths and pretended as only I knew how I had no problems. I was blissfully ignorant of the depression, anxiety and eating disorder I was developing.
At a support group last year, however, one lovely lady mentioned something I’d never been told before. Something I’d never considered. You’re bingeing because you restrict, she said. I thought that was hilarious.
I believe my bodyguard is Coco. He is a cat. A beautiful, loving, devoted cat who considers himself human. He is intelligent and devoted and loyal. He loves without condition and demonstrates self-care without an ounce of regret or indecision.
It is absolutely true that many people who commence recovery – from anything – progress at a faster rate. They make changes and those changes stick, perhaps with some small relapses, but a fairly linear recovery process. That’s awesome – I wish I was one of those people! But I’m not…
When I’m not going forward in recovery, I’m perfectly happy to accept sideways. Because moving sideways is not going backwards.
Well, ladies and gentlemen – and those who do not confidently or comfortably fit into traditional categories – my thanks and gratitude […]
To eat or not to eat. That is the question.Choose. To write or not to write.Choose. Work. Sleep. Play.Choose. Delivered unscathed from the maternal womb. […]
Since I fell apart last year, people keep asking, Are you okay? How can I help? If you need anything, just ask! They are genuine offers but I never know how to respond so just say I’m fine and don’t need anything. Not because I’m a martyr but because I genuinely have no idea.
I’ve been in a consistently downward spiral of late. Many people I know in “real” life are now reading this blog, so I […]
Today I had a desperate, desperate urge to restrict. It was really important to me. I nearly did. I ate breakfast. Then […]
As I feel myself sliding, down, down, down again, I want to make a really concerted effort to focus on ups – not downs. I went for a walk after gym this evening, and for the first 20 minutes I found myself falling into heavy, dark, unproductive thoughts. Then I remembered I’m supposed to be retraining my brain to think of a positive future. So I tried remembering happy times in my life – peaceful, simple times, with family and friends.
There is no escaping grief. Each and every one of us experiences loss and it is always painful – just ask a […]
See that picture? That’s my toes. Pointing at a blank spot. A blank spot where my scales have sat since we renovated the bathroom about 12 years ago. (Before that they sat somewhere else…) For as long as I can remember, I have weighed myself first thing every morning – day in day out. Like clockwork. A special, comforting routine. I’d climb out of bed, empty bladder, strip naked, stare at fateful numbers.
For anyone who hasn’t noticed, I have been struggling. Struggling with the concept of recovery. With freedom. With any kind of belief […]
Self-care. It’s the buzzword of the 21st century. I guess because a lot of us suck at it… There are over 242 words […]
![A HAPPY MEMORY [OR A FEW]](https://i0.wp.com/simoneyemm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/38616166144_9126473dfb_o.jpg?resize=700%2C485&ssl=1)
