MY INSOMNIA STORY
Sleep and I have not been friends for a very long time
Tag: mental health
WHAT DOES RECOVERY EVEN MEAN?
Depending on which of the nine different eating disorders is the primary issue, we may have to eat more or less food, more or less frequently, or different food altogether. But as food is an essential survival tool, at the end of the day, we have to eat.
I AM SAFE
This story is sad and breaks all the polite protocols of avoiding the difficult subject of suicide. But for some of us, this topic is all about real life and perhaps my sharing can spread some light. And perhaps a little hope.
LOSING LOVE – TWICE
Today my friend, I want to talk about grief. This is a hard story to write but let me start at the beginning.
WHERE’S MY MOTIVATION?
For much of my life, I was driven and busy and energetic and doing shit all the time. I didn’t sleep. I ate a lot. All my spare time filled up with mothering or wifeing or friending or working or volunteering. It was a fairly typical life for someone in their thirties and forties. Then I imploded and everything changed.
BOUNDARIES
Over the weeks and months and years of my healing journey, I have heard the word ‘boundaries’ whispered in my ear countless times. Although, sometimes it’s less of a whisper and more of a fish wife’s guttural screech, echoing around the chambers of my people-pleasing brain.
TAKING UP SPACE
I take up space in this world and I don’t like it. I am wired to the core of my being to […]
LIFE LESSONS LEARNED ON KINABALU
I did a hard thing. Well… It was hard for me. Perhaps you would find it easy. Or impossible. Perhaps like me […]
BOUND TO MY BODY
I have made it abundantly clear since I started sharing my story with you, that I have an eating disorder. Or should I say, I had an eating disorder. I have been pursuing recovery since I first graced the doorstep of my psychologist in 2015 and I can say with absolute certainty that I have reached a very happy place when it comes to my relationship with food.
PUT AWAY THE MOP
My house was spotless when I was growing up. I can take no credit for this – my mother was a meticulous […]
SIZE ZERO
I was at the gym shop the other day, buying new gym clothes. As you do. While rifling through the racks I noticed clothing marked Size 0. WHAT DOES THAT ACTUALLY SAY ABOUT A WOMAN?
THIN PRIVILEGE
The things we take for granted . . . I have experienced a great deal of privilege in my life. I am […]
ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FEARFUL
My mother swore by the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I’ve found for many things, absence makes the heart grow fearful. When I’m away from loved ones for any length of time I miss them and feel an even stronger sense of love and longing when we’re reunited (usually). But when I let go of the daily routines of my life, it’s much harder to reestablish habits. I develop a crisis of confidence.
RELAPSE
Living with mental illness is a shit. Whether that illness comes from nature or nurture is neither here nor there. Through the course of the illness, you learn ways to manage distress and those ways are frequently unproductive. Often numbing.
DIET CULTURE
Diet culture espouses thinness as a ticket to beauty and happiness. As someone who has lived in almost every sized body, I can assure you that my happiness was not impacted by a number on a scale. Something I need to remind myself of when I’m fighting the urge to skip breakfast.