RESTRICTED
At a support group last year, however, one lovely lady mentioned something I’d never been told before. Something I’d never considered. You’re bingeing because you restrict, she said. I thought that was hilarious.
Author: slyemm
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Me? I was born with a chubby foot in my mouth. And it seems I’m a slow learner. The reason I journal and blog, and became increasingly shy, quiet and retiring over the decades, is I really suck at the spoken word. It takes me ages to formulate what to say. I’m not quick off the mark with rapid repartee, then can’t process conversations and respond appropriately in a timely and intelligent fashion.
THE BODYGUARD
I believe my bodyguard is Coco. He is a cat. A beautiful, loving, devoted cat who considers himself human. He is intelligent and devoted and loyal. He loves without condition and demonstrates self-care without an ounce of regret or indecision.
IN MY OWN TIME
It is absolutely true that many people who commence recovery – from anything – progress at a faster rate. They make changes and those changes stick, perhaps with some small relapses, but a fairly linear recovery process. That’s awesome – I wish I was one of those people! But I’m not…
SIDLING ALONG
When I’m not going forward in recovery, I’m perfectly happy to accept sideways. Because moving sideways is not going backwards.
SOUL QUESTIONS
There is one last thing from the module I’d like to address, and that is the little card that states: 3 Soul Questions – Who are you? Where did you come from? Why are you here?
ONE PERFECT DAY
Well, ladies and gentlemen – and those who do not confidently or comfortably fit into traditional categories – my thanks and gratitude […]
CHOOSE
To eat or not to eat. That is the question.Choose. To write or not to write.Choose. Work. Sleep. Play.Choose. Delivered unscathed from the maternal womb. […]
IT’S A ROLLER COASTER
Everything we do in life, we do because it’s the thing we want to do the most at the time. When I choose to binge or purge, at the moment in time it is preferable to being healthy. I’m getting something out of it – numbing my emotions, punishing myself, weight control. There’s always something that feels like a positive – a backhanded false positive.
JUST HANGING IN
I feel like I’m barely holding on at the moment. Clinging on with my fingernails to whatever I can. I am exhausted. […]
THE CLOAK
There’s a cloak wrapped tight around me.
A cloak of grief.
A cloak of fear.
A cloak of wanton weariness.
FLY FREE
On 19 October – 23 days before peace treaties were signed to end the first world war – Charles and Eva McDougall welcomed June Margaret into the world. A world where electricity and cars were yet to become mainstream and Tasmanian Tigers were still living and breathing.
TREASURES
For the fourth time in my life, I find myself going through the intimate possessions of a family member. It is a […]
THE LURE OF THE DARK SIDE
If the universe was reasonable, it would allow me to “fully recover” before throwing curve balls in my direction. Unfortunately the universe […]
WHAT DO I NEED?
Since I fell apart last year, people keep asking, Are you okay? How can I help? If you need anything, just ask! They are genuine offers but I never know how to respond so just say I’m fine and don’t need anything. Not because I’m a martyr but because I genuinely have no idea.