ENDINGS & EXCUSES
I’ve been in a consistently downward spiral of late. Many people I know in “real” life are now reading this blog, so I […]
I’ve been in a consistently downward spiral of late. Many people I know in “real” life are now reading this blog, so I […]
Today I had a desperate, desperate urge to restrict. It was really important to me. I nearly did. I ate breakfast. Then […]
As I feel myself sliding, down, down, down again, I want to make a really concerted effort to focus on ups – not downs. I went for a walk after gym this evening, and for the first 20 minutes I found myself falling into heavy, dark, unproductive thoughts. Then I remembered I’m supposed to be retraining my brain to think of a positive future. So I tried remembering happy times in my life – peaceful, simple times, with family and friends.
There is no escaping grief. Each and every one of us experiences loss and it is always painful – just ask a […]
See that picture? That’s my toes. Pointing at a blank spot. A blank spot where my scales have sat since we renovated the bathroom about 12 years ago. (Before that they sat somewhere else…) For as long as I can remember, I have weighed myself first thing every morning – day in day out. Like clockwork. A special, comforting routine. I’d climb out of bed, empty bladder, strip naked, stare at fateful numbers.
For anyone who hasn’t noticed, I have been struggling. Struggling with the concept of recovery. With freedom. With any kind of belief […]
Self-care. It’s the buzzword of the 21st century. I guess because a lot of us suck at it… There are over 242 words […]
I dream that one day I will be freed from the shackles of anxiety’s chaos. Freed from the pounding heart, shallow breaths […]
Sometimes I worry that the reason I struggle with recovery, is I don’t want to recover. And sometimes I worry that the […]
… I thought you’d gone away. I thought we had a little chat and I told you we can’t be friends any […]
How easy it is to love. How hard it is to be loved… At the risk of repeating myself too many times, I […]
Today I awoke to the sight of little brown furry ears resting on my pillow, peering out the window at the rising […]
My fatigue is back. It went away for a while. I didn’t miss it. Good riddance, I thought. Then it came back. For fuck’s […]
Exercising regularly changed my life. It toned my body, turned fat to muscle, allowed me to enjoy the great outdoors, gave me a safe […]
Self compassion is tricky to master. The compassionate concepts I am encouraged to apply, were considered heinous insults throughout my formative years.