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Mental Health / Recovery

ONE FOOT FORWARD

I’m taking one foot forward – literally and metaphorically.

At the end of September, I saw an advertisement by the Black Dog Institute (good job marketing team) about an October challenge to raise awareness for mental health research. Given my five years of mental illness, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to dip my toes in the challenge waters.

SO I HAVE SIGNED UP FOR ONE FOOT FORWARD

I have challenged myself to walk 100 kilometres over the month of October and in return, I hope people will sponsor me to raise funds for research. It’s fourteen days in and I’ve walked 66 kilometres and raised $649. I have to confess – I’m pretty chuffed with the support. My initial fundraising goal was $250 because I figured finding ten people to donate $25 seemed like a big ask. But that was quickly met so I upped the ante and went to $500. Met that goal so now I’m aiming to raise $750. Secretly I’m hoping I can get to $1000 but I don’t want to disappoint myself just yet.

To anyone reading who has sponsored me, Go you! You are awesome.

But the challenge is about a lot more than just raising money for (very important) research. It’s about raising awareness but more importantly, for those of us challenged with mental health issues it’s about finding the incentive to get out there and do some walking.

So that is what I have done. Walked.

Past waterfalls and coastlines, mossy rocks and seagulls, scenic vistas and steep muddy steps.

I AM BACK OUT IN NATURE AND I AM LOVING IT

For so many years I walked regularly – usually from my front door to the end of the beach and back. It was a well-worn path that was approximately six kilometres and took 52 minutes almost every time. Or thereabouts. As the years passed by I added bushwalking to my list of favourite things to do and I started hiking up mountains and past disappearing tarns. Watching the echidnas and the galas and the painted gum trees as I went. Blue skies, drizzly days and softly falling snow all perfect opportunities to immerse myself in nature. It was a soothing balm to my deteriorating mental health.

Then I became more unwell. And I broke my ankle. Then I developed acute Achilles tendinopathy that would not respond to any treatments. I kept climbing mountains. And then I could barely hobble from the bed to the bathroom without pain so I had to stop.

I know, I know, I know. All you people who told me to stay off my broken ankle were probably right. I fucked it up. I thought sitting still and doing nothing was impossible. Once I couldn’t walk properly I learned I’m actually very good at it. And this has become a problem.

I have become so used to sitting on my butt doing nothing that all the good health in the world makes no difference – I still sit on my butt every day. I think I might be getting bedsores.

When the One Foot Forward challenge came along it really inspired me.

ON FRIDAY 01 OCTOBER IT POURED WITH RAIN ALL DAY DOWN HERE IN HOBART

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have even considered stepping outside the front door for anything more than the most urgent of tasks. But I’d signed up for the challenge and I’m nothing if not committed to following through on my word. So I put on my raincoat and headed out. I walked my six kilometres to the beach in pelting rain. My hair was drenched. Shoes soaked through. Pants wringing wet. My raincoat at least protecting the top half of me. I returned cold, soggy, exhilarated and proud of myself. I immediately had a warm shower, put my pyjamas on and stayed snug and dry for the rest of the day. It took two days for my shoes to dry out.

There’s been quite a bit more rain in the month of October – welcome to Spring in Tasmania – but I have walked most (not all) days and clocked up enough kilometres to keep me well ahead of schedule for now. I’ve even found walking buddies and that is awesome. People want to support me by not just sending some hard-earned cash, but by joining me on 10-kilometre hikes in the bush. I love it. A bushwalk is so much more enjoyable when there’s someone to share the beauty of nature with you.

I’m starting to have issues with fatigue – which is a cyclical thing in my life and not to be dismissed. It can become crippling. And for the first time yesterday, I had a reoccurrence of my Achilles pain. Sixty-six kilometres in 14 days might be pushing the recovery at the moment. So as the rain clouds descend over Hobart once again I’m going into a self-imposed three-day rest. Just to be sure I have the strength and energy to complete the rest of the challenge.

I HAVE NOTICED SO MANY BENEFITS TO REGULAR WALKING

My mood is better. I feel more connected to people. There’s a sense of accomplishment. I feel happy when I’m walking. I’m even sleeping better most nights (nothing short of a miracle). So it turns out the Black Dog Institute is right – walking regularly and getting out in nature is good for you not just physically, but psychologically.

I know it’s a balancing act. Over-exercising has been an eating disorder behaviour in the past and I don’t want to return to that. But the solution is not sitting on my arse all day drinking cups of tea and feeding imaginary chickens. Just like food, exercise is a vital part of healthy living and recovery is about finding healthy ways to manage them – not give them up altogether.

This challenge has come along at just the right time for me. I will take a couple of days rest because I feel it’s sensible, then I will lace up my walking shoes and head back out into the bush, tallying the kilometres while soaking in the beauty of Tasmania’s greatest asset – the great outdoors.

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