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Category: Recovery

FAITH

My personal spiritual beliefs have no basis in religion, I don’t believe in a God or Higher Powers or organised religion, but I do believe in Angels and the Universe. This is the beauty of Faith – no evidence required. Just a personal belief there is “something” and that something provides comfort and a guiding hand. It is fascinating to hear discussions on God. Or the Universe. Higher Powers. Angels. And to hear references to intuition and instinct.

My Mighty Month: March Week Two

The Mighty are running monthly self-confidence challenges all year. I religiously did the daily writing in January. Was too exhausted to do whatever the February challenge was! But I’m going to drop in late and start the March Challenge. The week one task is:
Make a list of your top five strengths. If you aren’t sure what your strengths are, ask a friend or family member. You can also take the VIA (Values in Action) Survey of Character Strengths.

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?

I am trying to figure out why I indulge in actions that disgust me, but I do anyway. Sure – most of them are inherent behaviours. But I’m not as silly as I look – I do have the capacity to learn and change. My mental health stuff has become appallingly resistant to change. There is nothing we do that is without benefit to us. Nothing. Even all those things we do “for other people”, it turns out, there is also something in it for us.

HEART OPEN PLEASE ENTER

There’s a little glimmer of warmth, burrowing into my chest. And a chink of light, peeking into my spirit. If I listen carefully I can almost hear a heart-warming song. It has taken me awhile to recognise it – the song of hope. Unfamiliar. Really scary. Really positive. Hope.

THINGS I’M GETTING RIGHT

It’s so easy to focus on everything that goes wrong, everything that still needs to be fixed, and how big the fricking recovery mountain is!
It’s so easy to regret the decades where I didn’t seek recovery or acknowledge the severity of my problems. And to bemoan my many failed attempts at change, the misunderstandings of my own behaviours and those of others. To look back in frustration at not having the wisdom or strength to question my thoughts and feelings and actions.

My Mighty Month: March Week One

The Mighty are running monthly self-confidence challenges all year. I religiously did the daily writing in January. Was too exhausted to do whatever the February challenge was! But I’m going to drop in late and start the March Challenge. The week one task is:
Make a list of your top five strengths. If you aren’t sure what your strengths are, ask a friend or family member. You can also take the VIA (Values in Action) Survey of Character Strengths.

STRATEGIES

Despondency.
It’s an unpleasant feeling.
I’m currently wallowing around in misery, feeling sorry for myself but struggling to find the willingness to be willing to make the required changes to my behaviours. I’ve acquired all the necessary knowledge, tools and support networks. Still I wallow. Still I perpetuate the lifetime habits that I both loathe and cling to like a drowning woman.