I can’t see myself. Not really. Not as other’s see me. I think that perhaps, this is a more common occurrence than one might think. In order to find any sense of self worth, I try to see myself mirrored in other people’s eyes. Specifically, in the eyes of the people who care about me.
Read MoreLife is a rollercoaster. It chugs up to the top, and it whizzes down to the ground. Sometimes it crashes out, and sometimes it fills with the breeze rushing through your hair and a cheeky grin plastered from ear to ear. I have been in all those places – the big crashes and the heady highs. But these days, mostly I just potter along on the straight and narrow in my little rollercoaster car. Thank you, drugs.
Read MorePeople think that depression is all in the head. People are idiots. Depression seeps through every pore of your body and leeches into every aspect of your life. It is an insidious, gut wrenching experience.
Read MoreI was once told (by an esteemed psychiatrist) that I have an engine ticking away inside me. My little red engine that chugs away continuously and unlike other people, it never turns off. It’s part of my Bipolar II diagnosis – I have no off switch. Instead, I have hyperarousal 24/7. But that’s a story for another day. Trust me when I say, I have an engine. I also have a battery.
Read MoreI used to be a creative soul. It was something I treasured. Something that made me inherently who I am. I had […]
Read MoreOn Friday 08 August 2025, I lost one of my oldest and closest friends. I am still in shock. How can this be true? In the space of a heartbeat, she simply ceased to exist. How is this possible?
Read MoreToday we lost a gentle soul. Coco may have seemed like just a cat to many, but he was a gentle someone and he was someone important in my life. A gentleone to the core. For 19.5 years he was my everyday.
Read MoreWell folks, I’ve been a little absent. Life the past month has taken a very interesting turn and I got wobbly while […]
Read MoreCompassion is one of the most beautiful of human traits. It reaches out to people when they are struggling. Whether it is just a whisper or a tsunami of pain, we all need to feel the warm embrace of someone’s compassionate heart at different times in our lives. And hopefully, when someone is in need, we are able to return that warmth whenever it is needed. But eventually, compassion can also be exhausting.
Read MoreI live with my ex-husband. It’s been seven months now and it’s going great. We’re best friends. But that’s a whole story for another day. Despite being separated under one roof and very good friends, I think I still drive him mad. And nothing drives him more mad than me listening to songs on repeat. And by on repeat, I mean the exact same song for a month at a time. I can listen to the same song a thousand times.
Read MoreWhen I was a wee young thing, I was taught that beauty is a currency. And I had none of it. So, from that perspective, I was very poor.
Read MoreThere are few things more comforting in this world than feeling understood and accepted. I am not sure if the world has more or less empathy than it used to. But I find that as I get older, it seems like there is less around. Now, that could be because of the personal journey I have walked, or simply because I’m ageing and I look around in search of it more than I used to. But whatever the reason, empathy is something that is becoming as rare as rocking horse shit. Perhaps it always was and I never noticed before.
Read MoreSince last I wrote, I have aged a whole year. Quite literally. I had a birthday. I am now 59 years old. Where that fits on the spectrum of “old” completely depends on where you’re currently standing. To my two-year-old granddaughter, I’m just a few short steps away from the grave. To my elderly patients at work, I’m just a youngster who is full of life and verve. From where I sit, it looks awfully close to 60. And I do not like the sound of that at all. Not one little bit.
Read MoreWho doesn’t love a touch of happiness here and there? It is such a soul-quenching joyous thing. I used to think the pursuit of happiness was the point of my life. But I have learned differently. It is a beautiful thing to have in the moment, but a life spent searching for happiness is a life spent living elsewhere and not in the moment. Happiness is found in moments – and they are fucking beautiful moments to cherish and hold onto. But everything passes in life. The heart-warmingly good, the bad and the very, very ugly. Life is a conveyor belt of emotions. It never stops and you really can never tell what’s going to be on offer on any given day.
Read MoreSo folks, I had a new experience on the weekend. I went to the Pride Parade. Dressed in pink. Well, kind of dressed in pink. I was actually dressed in a black jumpsuit with a warm pink jacket because it’s now the only pink thing that fits me but it was a hot Hobart day so it was a little bit sweaty marching down the streets. But it was worth it. It was my first ever outing as somebody who no longer entirely identifies as straight. But I don’t identify as anything else either. Maybe my identity is pink.
Read MorePersonal Prompt: How would you describe yourself? Ask a friend or family member how they would describe you and compare notes. Gosh… I’ll […]
Personal Prompt: You invented a time machine, but it only allows you to change the events of one day in your past. What […]
Personal Prompt: You’re going back to school! What would you study and why? Too easy – I AM going back to school […]
What my body didn’t know when it was born, was that it wasn’t the “right” shape. It wasn’t the “right” size. It wasn’t the “right” colour. That while it functioned in a beautiful, healthy and practical manner, aesthetically it didn’t conform to the ideal of beauty, espoused by those who raised me and the society in which they lived.
Personal Prompt: Write a letter to your illness or condition. Ahh… Which one?! Pick a condition… Pick a condition… Dear Anxiety, Piss […]
Personal Prompt: Set a timer for 5 minutes. How are you feeling right now? Jot down your thoughts, and try to limit yourself […]
Personal Prompt: Name five things you are proud of, and five things you are not so proud of. This is a very difficult […]
Personal Prompt: Write a letter to your future self. Dear Future Self, Congratulations! You made it 🙂 I know right now it […]
Personal Prompt: Congratulations! You just won an award! Pick an award, and write an acceptance speech. It is with mixed feelings I accept […]
Personal Prompt: What are some things you want to improve in the New Year? It’s 2017. Thank fuck that 2016 is over […]
I don’t know if love makes all things easy, but I do believe that combined with faith and hope, it could just make all things possible. And in 2017, I hope all manner of possible things bless you and me.
I may be living in a minefield and the recovery process feels thick, viscous and horrifyingly distressing, but that unknown fog is more terrifying. I know where the pitfalls in my minefield are – it feels better to live with the devil you know…
For many decades, I wondered why on earth anybody would, or could, run a blade across their unscarred skin, and inflict pain, misery and permanent damage. Just why would somebody do that?! Then my life fell apart – and I learned why.
Today was a pretty good day all things considered. But tomorrow, I’ll try to eat nothing at all. Because this attempt to eat like a “normal” person, is a miserable failure.
Suicide: It’s a dirty word… People are afraid of it. They don’t want to hear it. Or talk about it. We judge it – we judge ourselves for contemplating it, we judge others for talking about it. And those that go through with it? They receive the most judgement of all. Those most in need of our love and compassion, kindness and understanding – are the ones most likely to be criticised, judged and condemned.
![EMBRACE [REJECT]](https://i0.wp.com/simoneyemm.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/weeds2.jpg?resize=700%2C485&ssl=1)
