There’s a war in my head. Some days it gets so loud in there, it gives me a headache. A real one.
The voice nattering incessantly in my ear is not a healthy voice. It’s a familiar one. It feels like a safe one. But that voice is an expert manipulator, liar and thief.
There’s another little voice in the dark – the voice of reason and wisdom, sense and sensibility – but that voice is weak and timid. It has never learned to stand up to the manipulator.
Today I want to sleep.
I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of nothingness. I want to be free from physical pain. Free from exhaustion. I don’t want to feel worried or anxious or guilty or afraid. I don’t want to be fat and old and lost and weary. I just want to rest. To slip into eternal, blissful rest.
I can’t know for sure how anxiety manifests for other people – and to be honest, it’s only in recent months I acknowledged I have my own manifestations – but apparently, I have anxiety. With a capital A. As I’m currently feeling extremely anxious, now is a good time to put thoughts and observations down on “paper” …
And if as a society, we nurtured those in the earlier stages of illness, perhaps those “high functioning” addicts and depressives, those people with hidden and invisible mental illness, would feel okay about acknowledging their issues much earlier on. Because the earlier the problem is tackled, the better the outcome.
My psychologist talked about recovery, and I said (amongst other things), what’s in it for me? Which sounds appallingly self-interested – because it is! But it is the crux of my recovery issue. Everything I do in my life, is for other people – even my recovery. And without having intrinsic reasons to travel this rocky road, it is nigh on impossible to keep trudging along.
Personal Prompt: List five goals you’d like to accomplish next month. Develop a short strategy that will make each goal a reality.
Creative Prompt: You’ve been commissioned to create a statue for your hometown. Describe the statue.
In recent days, I have become entangled in numerous written altercations. Not attacks on me – but I have been made privy to conversations that have left people in my world feeling professionally or personally maligned. And it left me thinking how powerful the written word is, how easily misunderstood the written word is, and how dangerous it can be.
Personal Prompt: Write an instruction manual for taking care of yourself.
Creative Prompt: Plan a surprise party for a friend. Who is the party for, what are you celebrating, where is the event being held and how will you decorate?
Personal Prompt: Write a letter to someone who has treated you poorly. Explain to them how their actions hurt you and strategize a […]
Personal Prompt: You sign up for a pen pal and are connected with someone who lives in a country on the other side of the globe. Tell them about your life and where you live.
Creative Prompt: You are on a baking competition and have to make a dessert that will impress the judges. Describe your prize-winning dish.
Personal Prompt: Name one thing that scares you? Discuss why it scares you and think of some ways you might be able to […]
Personal Prompt: Describe a time when someone treated you poorly. Looking back at the situation, is there a way you would have liked […]
Ahh… Joy! Today, for the first time in a very long time, I feel the first fleeting stirrings of joy. It feels […]
Personal Prompt: For those living with health issues, if you could cure yourself, would you? Why or why not? I don’t have health […]
Personal Prompt: Describe a time when someone treated you kindly. What made this interaction so special? Leading up to my hospitalisation last May, […]
