RECOVERY DREAM
Recovery is a dream. A distant, foreign concept. A world of freedom I desperately want to live in, but struggle to believe will ever […]
Tag: mental health
MONDAY MORNING MANTRAS
I am entering into a phase of recovery (ie the beginning…) where I am doggedly determined to embark upon this road and make […]
FREEDOM
I live in a house, surrounded by nature. I sit in bed of a morning, watching native birds sing in the tree outside my bedroom window. I can see the water. I can hear the waves. I can watch the sunrise. These things are always here. They always have been. I’ve lived in this house for 16 years.
THE SCALES OF JUSTICE
I am a prisoner in a cell of my own making. Each morning, I stand upon the Scales of Justice to determine […]
BROKEN WINGS
Today I cried. I cried because I could feel the hard, solid, shell I have spent decades plastering around every inch of me cracking, leaving me soft and vulnerable, and revealing a very broken pair of wings.
FOR THE LOVE OF A CAT
I may not be a dog person, but I am acutely aware of the joy, love and hope a beloved pet can […]
HOW CAN I TELL IF I’M WELL
When I have a cold, it’s obvious I’m sick. And when it goes away, it’s obvious it’s gone. When I have depression, […]
TRIGGERED
I’ve been triggered. My bulimic behaviours are regressing. THIS IS BOTH GOOD AND BAD Bad, because I’ve fallen deep into the well […]
IS THIS NORMAL?
Am I normal or different? Am I sick or healthy? I have no fricking idea… I feel normal. I’ve always been like […]
THE METAPHORICAL FENCE
I feel like I’m perched on a metaphorical fence – staring down at recovery, staring down at illness, and trying to decide […]
ACCEPTANCE
I spent years telling myself it’s overwhelmingly difficult – nigh on impossible – to overwrite the dialogue of my childhood. That whatever […]
SHEDDING THE BURDEN OF SHAME
A year ago I was a mess. A great big psychological mess. I was heading towards a breakdown and a stay in […]
SECURITY BLANKETS
I still live in fear the shit will hit the fan again. I’m finding it hard to let go of the fear someone will die, or my kids will get into trouble, or someone will become really ill, or I’ll lose my job, or I’ll be in a high-conflict situation, or we’ll have a financial disaster, or my marriage will fail, or any one of the other major stresses I’ve been struck with will knock me down again. And again. Despite the fact that so far in 2017, I have had nothing but positive news, I’m still fearful.
SUCCESS
I have spent so much of my life feeling like a failure. Musician: failed Housewife: failed Finances: failed Resilience: failed Beauty: failed Weight: […]
MY ANXIETY FEELS LIKE…
… a thumping heart … a tight chest … short, quick breaths … a knot in my stomach … a swollen throat … heavy […]