NEARLY
Today I had a desperate, desperate urge to restrict. It was really important to me. I nearly did. I ate breakfast. Then […]
Today I had a desperate, desperate urge to restrict. It was really important to me. I nearly did. I ate breakfast. Then […]
I have a lot of pain at the moment – I may even have to start admitting my pain is chronic. I’m hesitant to accept that label though – it feels like giving up. But when I’m in pain all the time, I feel tired all the time. And when I’m tired all the time, I have declines with mental health stuff. And of course if you know the first thing about me, you’ll know most of my mental health stuff revolves around eating issues.
There is no escaping grief. Each and every one of us experiences loss and it is always painful – just ask a […]
See that picture? That’s my toes. Pointing at a blank spot. A blank spot where my scales have sat since we renovated the bathroom about 12 years ago. (Before that they sat somewhere else…) For as long as I can remember, I have weighed myself first thing every morning – day in day out. Like clockwork. A special, comforting routine. I’d climb out of bed, empty bladder, strip naked, stare at fateful numbers.
For anyone who hasn’t noticed, I have been struggling. Struggling with the concept of recovery. With freedom. With any kind of belief […]
Self-care. It’s the buzzword of the 21st century. I guess because a lot of us suck at it… There are over 242 words […]
I need to binge. I want to binge. I’m going to binge … says Mia … Why? … whispers Reason … Why? We do […]
I dream that one day I will be freed from the shackles of anxiety’s chaos. Freed from the pounding heart, shallow breaths […]
Sometimes I worry that the reason I struggle with recovery, is I don’t want to recover. And sometimes I worry that the […]
Some days I want to live. Some days I want to die. I’m not suicidal – not anymore. Or not at the […]
… I thought you’d gone away. I thought we had a little chat and I told you we can’t be friends any […]
He wants me. He needs me. He loves me. He sounds interested and knowing. He rejoices when my heart is singing. His […]
How easy it is to love. How hard it is to be loved… At the risk of repeating myself too many times, I […]
Today I awoke to the sight of little brown furry ears resting on my pillow, peering out the window at the rising […]
My fatigue is back. It went away for a while. I didn’t miss it. Good riddance, I thought. Then it came back. For fuck’s […]