BROKEN WINGS
Today I cried. I cried because I could feel the hard, solid, shell I have spent decades plastering around every inch of me cracking, leaving me soft and vulnerable, and revealing a very broken pair of wings.
FOR THE LOVE OF A CAT
I may not be a dog person, but I am acutely aware of the joy, love and hope a beloved pet can […]
HOW CAN I TELL IF I’M WELL
When I have a cold, it’s obvious I’m sick. And when it goes away, it’s obvious it’s gone. When I have depression, […]
TRIGGERED
I’ve been triggered. My bulimic behaviours are regressing. THIS IS BOTH GOOD AND BAD Bad, because I’ve fallen deep into the well […]
IS THIS NORMAL?
Am I normal or different? Am I sick or healthy? I have no fricking idea… I feel normal. I’ve always been like […]
BUCKET LIST
I mentioned a few weeks ago that it’s time I wrote a bucket list. So here I go… Things I want to […]
THE METAPHORICAL FENCE
I feel like I’m perched on a metaphorical fence – staring down at recovery, staring down at illness, and trying to decide […]
FAITH
My personal spiritual beliefs have no basis in religion, I don’t believe in a God or Higher Powers or organised religion, but I do believe in Angels and the Universe. This is the beauty of Faith – no evidence required. Just a personal belief there is “something” and that something provides comfort and a guiding hand. It is fascinating to hear discussions on God. Or the Universe. Higher Powers. Angels. And to hear references to intuition and instinct.
ACCEPTANCE
I spent years telling myself it’s overwhelmingly difficult – nigh on impossible – to overwrite the dialogue of my childhood. That whatever […]
SHEDDING THE BURDEN OF SHAME
A year ago I was a mess. A great big psychological mess. I was heading towards a breakdown and a stay in […]
SECURITY BLANKETS
I still live in fear the shit will hit the fan again. I’m finding it hard to let go of the fear someone will die, or my kids will get into trouble, or someone will become really ill, or I’ll lose my job, or I’ll be in a high-conflict situation, or we’ll have a financial disaster, or my marriage will fail, or any one of the other major stresses I’ve been struck with will knock me down again. And again. Despite the fact that so far in 2017, I have had nothing but positive news, I’m still fearful.
SUCCESS
I have spent so much of my life feeling like a failure. Musician: failed Housewife: failed Finances: failed Resilience: failed Beauty: failed Weight: […]
MY ANXIETY FEELS LIKE…
… a thumping heart … a tight chest … short, quick breaths … a knot in my stomach … a swollen throat … heavy […]
ARE YOU ON A DIET?
“Are you on a diet?”
I was 22 years old. I was not on a diet. I was not overweight. Yet…
It was Christmas Day and I was away from my family. Invited to a friend’s house for the day, I met a lovely Japanese couple. His English wasn’t the greatest and when I said I didn’t eat meat, he asked if I was on a diet. It was an innocent question – and his wife quickly jumped in to clarify. He was asking if I had dietary restrictions. I did. I was vegetarian.
Within a year I was also bulimic.
THE HOUSEHOLD GUIDE TO NOT BEING A JUDGMENTAL TWAT
Mental illness is illness. It’s not a choice. Not a decision or a lifestyle. It’s an illness. Like most illnesses, there are a […]