When the word addiction is bandied around, images that come to mind frequently involve drugs and alcohol. But addiction has as many varieties as there are addicts, and the compulsion is a symptom not a cause. What it’s a symptom of, varies for individuals, but we’re all numbing something.
There are lots of reasons women – and men – might experience anorgasmia. I’m only going to talk about one – because it’s the one that affects me. Medication. Specifically, SNRI anti-depressant medication. All medication has an effect – that’s why we prefer prescriptions to placebos. Side effects are unwanted consequences of medication and when we treat conditions pharmacologically, we weigh the pros and cons of our options. I’ve been on my current anti-depressant two years. At the lowest dose I struggled with orgasm, and at my current dose it is an impossibility.
It’s easy to know when your body needs food – physical cues are given out. We all know what they are (even when some of use choose to ignore those cues), and we know drinking a glass of water doesn’t make them go away. So feeding physical hunger is easy. And yet I do not stand alone when it comes to yearning for food regardless of physical hunger.
I’m consumed with sadness today. I know it’s the stupid drug, but fuck it’s annoying. On the upside, the psychiatrist rang and said to wean myself off and I’m being admitted into the inpatient eating disorder unit instead. It’s a strange world where that seems like a good thing – right?
Aside from going on a cruise and having all my pubic hair ripped out in large patches, there have been a few […]
Cheerful little topic huh?! But something I believe needs to be discussed in the wider community from time to time. So here I am – casting my two cents worth out into the world for all to ponder upon.
My psychologist (I love her to bits!) has suggested I consider a specialised Eating Disorder inpatient treatment program.I once again had a […]
I’m a wildly swinging pendulum. For a moment there, I slowed the arc of the swing right down – and that was quite pleasant. It certainly made my psychologist happy and I live to please. But now I’m back on the wild ride of excessive bingeing, purging and restricting, wanting to self-harm (have resisted so far), suicidal ideation and messing with risky behaviours, and just generally digging a big pit of misery to hang out in – for no other reason than it feels wildly familiar and comforting. (Go figure – misery = comfort. Don’t worry – makes no sense to me either.)
I ran out of medication last week. Turns out this was a bit of an oversight on my behalf, and not the […]
Wanna know what my anxiety looks like? I had an unpleasant moment at work today, then later realised I’d spent the entire day on edge as a result of that one moment. For the whole day I was slightly teary, heart pounding, wanting to punish or numb myself, and counting the minutes until I could get out of there. I felt frozen to the spot and terrified of opening my mouth – just hoping the earth would swallow me whole. This is a scenario I am all too familiar with.
I must be do something right. I’m feeling very uncomfortable. And I’ve been reassured again and again, that change is uncomfortable, so I guess this is change. Whether it’s short or long term change, is yet to be determined. In the meantime – I’m feeling very uncomfortable.
Apparently I’m a shame magnet. Not sure if I struggle with shame because I’m super sensitive to humiliation, or if I’m super […]
We all have physical hunger and we all need to feed it. The body needs nourishment in order to function. Feed it badly, it will treat you badly. Feed it well and you’re on the road to good health. If you’ve nourished your body regularly over the years, you experience appropriate hunger cues. Haven’t eaten? Your belly will grumble. Overeaten? You’ll feel uncomfortable – and stop eating.
I haven’t been writing. I need to write. I don’t know what to write any more. I’m incredibly lost and directionless. Without writing […]
I’m fortunate I have connections and love in my life – I am very blessed in this department. As a child, love was conditional and I felt emotionally disconnected, which had a big impact on me. But I am no longer a child, and now have strong, loving relationships and connections. I cannot imagine where I would be without those connections. In fact, I cannot imagine I would be here without them.
