LOOKING FORWARD
Today was a non-linear recovery day. You know – the old cha cha cha – a few steps forward, a few steps […]
Category: Mental Health
EASTER EGG EPIPHANIES
Today I ate Easter eggs. I didn’t enjoy them. And it isn’t Easter. There are bags and bags of leftover solid little eggs […]
MIA, MIA, MIA
I need to binge. I want to binge. I’m going to binge … says Mia … Why? … whispers Reason … Why? We do […]
CONFESSIONS OF A DISORDERED MIND
Sometimes I worry that the reason I struggle with recovery, is I don’t want to recover. And sometimes I worry that the […]
UNEXPECTED IDEATION
Some days I want to live. Some days I want to die. I’m not suicidal – not anymore. Or not at the […]
DEAR DEPRESSION…
… I thought you’d gone away. I thought we had a little chat and I told you we can’t be friends any […]
THE STARVING CHILD
Today I awoke to the sight of little brown furry ears resting on my pillow, peering out the window at the rising […]
BODY BEAUTIFUL
I have a body. As I said once before, it has served me faithfully all my years. I have been blessed with strong bones, good teeth, a great immune system and most excellent health. I am indeed extremely fortunate.
FREEDOM
I live in a house, surrounded by nature. I sit in bed of a morning, watching native birds sing in the tree outside my bedroom window. I can see the water. I can hear the waves. I can watch the sunrise. These things are always here. They always have been. I’ve lived in this house for 16 years.
THE SCALES OF JUSTICE
I am a prisoner in a cell of my own making. Each morning, I stand upon the Scales of Justice to determine […]
FOR THE LOVE OF A CAT
I may not be a dog person, but I am acutely aware of the joy, love and hope a beloved pet can […]
TRIGGERED
I’ve been triggered. My bulimic behaviours are regressing. THIS IS BOTH GOOD AND BAD Bad, because I’ve fallen deep into the well […]
IS THIS NORMAL?
Am I normal or different? Am I sick or healthy? I have no fricking idea… I feel normal. I’ve always been like […]
ACCEPTANCE
I spent years telling myself it’s overwhelmingly difficult – nigh on impossible – to overwrite the dialogue of my childhood. That whatever […]
SECURITY BLANKETS
I still live in fear the shit will hit the fan again. I’m finding it hard to let go of the fear someone will die, or my kids will get into trouble, or someone will become really ill, or I’ll lose my job, or I’ll be in a high-conflict situation, or we’ll have a financial disaster, or my marriage will fail, or any one of the other major stresses I’ve been struck with will knock me down again. And again. Despite the fact that so far in 2017, I have had nothing but positive news, I’m still fearful.