NEARLY
Today I had a desperate, desperate urge to restrict. It was really important to me. I nearly did. I ate breakfast. Then […]
Category: Mental Health
![A HAPPY MEMORY [OR A FEW]](https://i0.wp.com/simoneyemm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/38616166144_9126473dfb_o.jpg?resize=700%2C485&ssl=1)
A HAPPY MEMORY [OR A FEW]
As I feel myself sliding, down, down, down again, I want to make a really concerted effort to focus on ups – not downs. I went for a walk after gym this evening, and for the first 20 minutes I found myself falling into heavy, dark, unproductive thoughts. Then I remembered I’m supposed to be retraining my brain to think of a positive future. So I tried remembering happy times in my life – peaceful, simple times, with family and friends.
DOWNS & UPS
I have a lot of pain at the moment – I may even have to start admitting my pain is chronic. I’m hesitant to accept that label though – it feels like giving up. But when I’m in pain all the time, I feel tired all the time. And when I’m tired all the time, I have declines with mental health stuff. And of course if you know the first thing about me, you’ll know most of my mental health stuff revolves around eating issues.
ESCAPING GRIEF
There is no escaping grief. Each and every one of us experiences loss and it is always painful – just ask a […]
MELANCHOLY MOODINESS
I had a really lovely day today. For the most part, I made good decisions around food. And yet for no apparent […]
ILLUSIONS
I’m fluffy today. And floppy. I had lots of drugs… I have pain. I feel like I have chronic pain, but compared […]
EAT ME!
The food in my fridge sings to me. And I mean it really sings. I suspect this is another one of those […]
LOOKING FORWARD
Today was a non-linear recovery day. You know – the old cha cha cha – a few steps forward, a few steps […]
EASTER EGG EPIPHANIES
Today I ate Easter eggs. I didn’t enjoy them. And it isn’t Easter. There are bags and bags of leftover solid little eggs […]
MIA, MIA, MIA
I need to binge. I want to binge. I’m going to binge … says Mia … Why? … whispers Reason … Why? We do […]
CONFESSIONS OF A DISORDERED MIND
Sometimes I worry that the reason I struggle with recovery, is I don’t want to recover. And sometimes I worry that the […]
UNEXPECTED IDEATION
Some days I want to live. Some days I want to die. I’m not suicidal – not anymore. Or not at the […]
DEAR DEPRESSION…
… I thought you’d gone away. I thought we had a little chat and I told you we can’t be friends any […]
THE STARVING CHILD
Today I awoke to the sight of little brown furry ears resting on my pillow, peering out the window at the rising […]
BODY BEAUTIFUL
I have a body. As I said once before, it has served me faithfully all my years. I have been blessed with strong bones, good teeth, a great immune system and most excellent health. I am indeed extremely fortunate.