Who Am I? Really?! When I was young – I thought I knew the answer for sure. Now I’ve turned 50, I’ve found I have no idea.

I spent 36 years teaching and performing the flute, before resigning from music. I grieve the loss of everything about it while knowing in my heart it was absolutely time. It was a great decision. I miss it enormously.

I’m married to a very devoted and loyal man. We’ve irritated the crap out of each other for more than two decades, but he’s always been my safe place to fall. We complement each other so well. I have the utmost admiration for his strength, intelligence, resilience, loyalty and honesty. Together we’ve brought into this world three incredibly smart, sassy, funny, difficult and loving young men. We’re intensely proud of them.

I’ve had lifelong struggles with mental health namely depression, anxiety and disordered eating. However, it wasn’t until I had a midlife crisis and broke apart I realised there were any issues.

Up until then, I was expert at numbing emotions, wearing a happy mask, and just plain old ignoring stuff.

I’ve spent years working on myself and had two inpatient stays in psychiatric facilities – both of which saved my life one way or another. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that recovery is a journey, not a destination.

In 2008 I started preparing for the end of my music career by completing a Masters in Journalism. My focus is now redefining myself as a writer rather than a musician and figuring out how to earn some money to contribute to my existence.

And the snapshot above?

That’s exactly how I look when I put on my favourite clothes, have hair and makeup artists doll me up, and find a professional photographer to capture my likeness with perfect lighting and post-editing of my frown lines. Other than that, I usually look like the photos scattered through the rest of this blog. I just happen to really, really like this photo.