MADE IT
Through all sorts of therapies and chats with the wickedly wise and wonderful people who support me during various times of crises, […]
Month: June 2018
ME TOO
Eurydice Dixon was raped and murdered last week. I confess, prior to hearing the news, I had never heard of the fledgling […]
CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SUNSHINE
My inclination is to run and hide and bury my head – old habits die hard. But if there is one thing I have achieved this year, it’s to stop using eating disorder and self-harm behaviours to numb my emotions. They are becoming non-options. That’s not to say I don’t think about it, miss it, want it, and feel tempted to slip. I’m moving closer and closer to accepting they’re no longer an option for dealing with life.
COMING UP FOR AIR
During the last week I had a rapid escalation in suicidal ideation. As each day became more exhausting than the last, the desire to succumb to eternal sedation was overwhelming. I sobbed my little heart out in a manner I can’t recall doing for a long, long time. I could have reached out to any one at any moment in time, but when I desperately yearn death, the last thing I can do is tell anybody. Telling means acquiescing to living and I have to be ready for that. But more significantly, telling someone means burdening them once again with sadness and worry.